Overflowing

My life has been so busy lately, busy but joyful, and then, all of a sudden, it seemed there were a few too many balls to juggle, and my life was transformed into busy and stressful existence. Our home under construction, which, while exciting, is a bit unsettling. We're also in the process of moving back into our little cottage, after more then two months spent house sitting in another town. At the moment, three-quarters of my wardrobe is in the back of my car, in order to protect my dresses and shirts from the horrors of drywall dust. I sneak out of the house in my bathrobe each morning to choose my outfit from the trunk of my auto. Would you agree if I told you that the situation is less than ideal?

But wait, there's more griping to come. Of the two companies I work for, one has just undertaken a huge project, of which I am the go-to-gal, and the other is dealing with a CEO who is ill enough to be out of the office indefinitely. Also, I'm behind in school. I didn't mean to let it happen (who does?), but all of a sudden I have two papers to write, a goodly amount of responses, and a test to study for and take. Also, have I mentioned that Mikey and I are supposed to be heading out of town this weekend? I take complete responsibility for the scholastic stuff--I did it (or didn't do it, as it were), but I must admit feeling a bit overwhelmed with things to do, and overcome with worry over how I'll ever complete everything.

I watched an amazing movie last week called, Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... And Spring. It's a beautiful and thought-provoking film filled with visual metaphors, one of which struck me in particular: A young boy playfully ties rocks to the tails of a frog, a fish and a snake as he passes a lovely day at a lake's edge. It is not until the next morning, after his elder instructs him to free the animals, that the boy realizes the destruction he has wrought by thoughtlessly attaching his burdens to other beings. Two of the animals are dead, a third barely alive. By the end of the film, it is apparent that the day's events have left a powerful and lifelong impression on the boy.

The sequence of events was such a revelation to me, and a wake-up call. I hadn't before thought of the consequences of burdening others with my stresses. Now, in a time that feels challenging, I am trying to keep in mind the lesson the young child learned that day, and to recognize and change my behavior in stressful situations. Perhaps venting my worries in a blog is another way of burdening people--I hope not--but obviously this little bit of interior work is ongoing, and I hope to be successful in creating new patterns of dealing with seemingly overwhelming worry. I'm sure it can be done.