Overflowing

My life has been so busy lately, busy but joyful, and then, all of a sudden, it seemed there were a few too many balls to juggle, and my life was transformed into busy and stressful existence. Our home under construction, which, while exciting, is a bit unsettling. We're also in the process of moving back into our little cottage, after more then two months spent house sitting in another town. At the moment, three-quarters of my wardrobe is in the back of my car, in order to protect my dresses and shirts from the horrors of drywall dust. I sneak out of the house in my bathrobe each morning to choose my outfit from the trunk of my auto. Would you agree if I told you that the situation is less than ideal?

But wait, there's more griping to come. Of the two companies I work for, one has just undertaken a huge project, of which I am the go-to-gal, and the other is dealing with a CEO who is ill enough to be out of the office indefinitely. Also, I'm behind in school. I didn't mean to let it happen (who does?), but all of a sudden I have two papers to write, a goodly amount of responses, and a test to study for and take. Also, have I mentioned that Mikey and I are supposed to be heading out of town this weekend? I take complete responsibility for the scholastic stuff--I did it (or didn't do it, as it were), but I must admit feeling a bit overwhelmed with things to do, and overcome with worry over how I'll ever complete everything.

I watched an amazing movie last week called, Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... And Spring. It's a beautiful and thought-provoking film filled with visual metaphors, one of which struck me in particular: A young boy playfully ties rocks to the tails of a frog, a fish and a snake as he passes a lovely day at a lake's edge. It is not until the next morning, after his elder instructs him to free the animals, that the boy realizes the destruction he has wrought by thoughtlessly attaching his burdens to other beings. Two of the animals are dead, a third barely alive. By the end of the film, it is apparent that the day's events have left a powerful and lifelong impression on the boy.

The sequence of events was such a revelation to me, and a wake-up call. I hadn't before thought of the consequences of burdening others with my stresses. Now, in a time that feels challenging, I am trying to keep in mind the lesson the young child learned that day, and to recognize and change my behavior in stressful situations. Perhaps venting my worries in a blog is another way of burdening people--I hope not--but obviously this little bit of interior work is ongoing, and I hope to be successful in creating new patterns of dealing with seemingly overwhelming worry. I'm sure it can be done.

It's All You Need

Not to get all syrupy and sappy on you, but I've gotta say it's pretty incredible to wake up next to the love of your life every morning. I'm very grateful for the happiness in my life right now, at this moment.

Wild Wednesday

Today began and ended with loveliness--a few extra hours spent at home this morning catching up on errands and correspondence, then an incredible, thought provoking movie and a resulting discussion to cap the evening--it's the middle of the day that got a little messy.

Things started going a bit haywire when I somehow decided that a double latte was in order. For those of you who have experienced my brain on caffeine, you know that espresso in any form tends to transform me into a giddy, showy, chatty wreck. Today was no different, except for the fact that I shared the nuttiness that was my caffeinated self with CEO's and Creative Director's and Mucky-Mucks. I knew I'd hit a new low the moment I caught myself doing jazz hands in front of the co-directors of my company. Let's just say that today was less than stellar for the old professional image. Moving on...

As for the rest of my work day, it took me THREE HOURS to send ONE EMAIL. No, I am not kidding, yes, I do have a brain in my head, and no, I will not concede that caffeine had any bearing on my trouble. There were issues with attachments and internet connections and email platforms that combined to inflict a perfect storm of electronic drama on every computer I touched (and I tried three of 'em). The solution required the expertise of two technological genius', and the installation of three new programs. An hour and a half after I was supposed to have headed home for the day, the message finally left my inbox. And it's still not right. Sigh.

Also, I found out that a sweet pal has lost his job, which makes me quite sad. He's a kind, helpful fellow with a lovely family that relies solely on his income. I am sending my best, most helpful energy his way this evening, as he begins to re-group from the news and plan his next steps.

What a hump-day. Here's to a lovely rest-of-the-week. For you as well!

Spring-ish

What a treat to wake up today to forty-degree weather and blue skies. Saturday's snow flurries so filled the air, that the harbor disappeared behind their swirling mass. Yesterday, the islands sat in a gray sea, so still and silent it seemed almost not to be living. But today, the salty water is reflecting the blueness above, and the islands somehow look greener than they did last week. Here on the mainland, trees are beginning to bud, and the barely-green tips of brand new crocuses are beginning to emerge. I am excited for the warm weather to come.

The Happiness of a Newborn Boy

My dear friend Megan sent me photographs of her three-day old babe just the other day. I opened her email expecting to see the ubiquitous boy baby photo of the teensy one peeking out from under a blue hat, and instead found an incredibly moving series of images. The photographs showed the tenderness between Meg and her husband in the moments before their son was born, the first gaze shared between mother and son, and the sweet, sweet cuddles of a trio of sisters meeting their brother for the first time.

What a gift those images were! I felt transported to the time and place in which they were taken. I've now had the opportunity to meet the dear boy in person, and to witness the exuberant love his sisters have for him. All the while Meg, who was home alone with her foursome at the time of my visit, exuded loving calmness and a peacefulness that was beautiful. I, as a fully-grown woman who sometimes feels that she can barely take care of herself, was humbled.

Attack of the Crazies

When this past January rolled around, I was shocked at the amount of people who were longing for the year to be over; it'd never occurred to me that people would be happy to let go of a part of their lives. Today though, after yet another grim phone call announcing somber news, I am beginning to understand why folks might tend to wish time away. Already in this new year a beloved grandmother has passed away, a dear one's relationship has hit a rough patch, a colleague has been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness requiring intensive, painful treatment, friend's pets have died, and co-workers family members have taken ill.

Mike says I'm focusing too much on the negative. I can be guilty of that, but I hope that I am able to recognize the difficulties for what they are, and focus instead on how grateful I am for each day of my healthy, happy life. I need to remember to experience the joy of every day, and take risks and make plans that reach beyond my day to day existence. Yes, there have been some sadnesses in the past few months, but there have been moments and days of lovely, warming happiness as well.

Eckhart Tolle and Me

So I'm taking this class called 'The Art of Being and the Science of Living', every Wednesday night. It goes late enough into the evening that I often miss the first few minutes of Project Runway (I watched the finale tonight--can you believe that Christian fellow?) Needless to say, my brain tends to conk out after the first half of the class, but this week we started following Oprah on her latest crusade: A little (and I do mean elfin) guy called Eckhart Tolle.

Eckhart, a famous German philosopher, wrote one of our class texts, A New Earth, and lo and behold, Oprah has decided to join with Eckhart to create a 'classroom' experience for her viewers each and every Monday night for ten weeks. I highly encourage you to sign up at Oprah's site, take the necessary 10 seconds to download the special player, and check out Oprah and Eckhart's discussion. Even in my current state of exhaustion, there were several concepts that spoke to me--especially the ones about creating stillness to allow creativity and consciousness/God to flow into your life. When Eckhart speaks about quieting the mind, it brings to mind Elizabeth Gilbert's quest for meditation in Eat, Pray, Love.

I just have to say that I'm feeling a wee bit pedestrian for reading two of the most popular books out at the moment, but you know what? I LIKE them. I've really enjoyed my forays into Eckhart's and Elizabeth's points of view. They've inspired me in pretty fantastic ways (while reading Eat, Pray, Love, I planned extensive explorations for Mike and me in Italy, India and Indonesia respectively) and I LIKE that they're accessible. I enjoy reading books about 'big' things that are fun and easy to read, every once in a while. Anyway, check out ol' Liz and Eck(hart), they won't disappoint.

Still Fightin'

Thursday evening my throat started feeling scratchy, and by Friday morning I was feverish and achy--nothing too severe, but enough to cause an early exit from work and an even earlier bedtime por moi. Mike and I spend a quiet weekend together in order to enable my recovery, and I am shocked to say that it hasn't worked. A mini-flu, a shadow of a true illness, sticking around for so long? Come on! I am not amused. I overslept this morning and am now weighing my work options; should I go in, or stay out? The longer I remain vertical, the louder my body screams, STAY HOME!! We'll see.

In less mind-numbingly boring news, I've been investigating the aerobic dance technique, Nia. A friend is opening a visually stunning center for wellness through movement, and has asked me to explore the technique with her. I've taken an introductory workshop, and watched a few videos, but am hoping to attend more classes in person soon. As a former dancer, I like the idea of a movement style geared toward getting anyone and everyone comfortable with moving their bodies, and focusing on getting fit in a fun way, but I'd love to learn more. If you have any Nia insight, I'd love to hear it.

Crispy Sunshine

It's early March. In some parts of the western hemisphere, people are thinking spring, or even diving into warm ocean waters, but here on America's east coast, the ground is covered with fresh snow from yesterday's storm, and the thermometer on our outbuilding reads 34 degrees Fahrenheit.

Our winter has been long, but this morning as my body steadfastly refused my brain's pleadings for more sleep, I slipped downstairs to a day of brilliant sunshine. I curled up near a window with my computer, and was soon joined by a tiny black-capped chickadee flitting about in a hydrangea bush mere inches from my perch inside. The little fellow hopped sprightly from branch to branch, calling to his pals every once and a while. I imagine he was scoping out breakfast possibilities.

The sun, the blazing blue sky and the trees with the ocean and its archipelago beyond made the scene outside look alternately too beautiful to touch, and too enticing not to experience with one's entire body. I silently gave thanks to the universe for providing such a glorious beginning to the day, sent wishes of inspiration to my friends afar, and tip-toed upstairs to wake my husband with a kiss. Life is so good.